Same-sex marriage is about family values, they support and strength
them. In that sense, it is important and necessary to protect
same-sex families and parents. It's beneficial to everyone to respect the rights of LGBT queer individuals.
This is a personal
testimony.
As most LGBT people of my generation, since early age I became aware that my sexuality was rejected
by my own family and by the society around me. Because of this, I did my best to
keep my homosexuality as a secret, mostly to protect my family and
myself of any "embarrassing" or violent situations.
I grew up deeply ashamed of my
own nature.
Society and religion forced my family to force me to repress
my sexuality. I remember getting physically and verbally abused when getting
caught wearing on my sisters dresses or playing with their dolls, or performing
beauty-contest games of my own, or just for being too feminine.
Years later, I left my first country because -among other
reasons- I felt that being away from my family and living in a gay friendlier environment
would help me building a better life without fears. This brighter future didn’t
come completely for me, partly because a learned self loathing homophobia followed me through my adult life. These are things that I’m working still today
to overcome.
The other day I saw a very nice scene in a local Metro train. A gay couple were seating right in front of me, talking to each
other. These two young men connected in a level that obviously goes beyond
friendship. When they were ready to get off the train, the softer man almost fell
back but his partner held his back in a very protective way. This made me smile, that scene was beautiful.
On my left side, an older woman was staring at those men and then she looked at me. She had a look on her face filled with anger and
disgust. I couldn’t avoid but remembering the same looks of people around me
when I was growing up. All I heard as a kid were negative comments about LGBT
people. “Los maricones son lo peor de la sociedad”. Faggots are the worst of
society.
Now days, I don’t blame my family for the
harsh situations I faced as a kid. which led me into self destructive behaviors in my adult life
as a homosexual. I'm a bit resentful of my relatives' rejection. My family was forced by their religion and homophobic values to treat me as
a second class person, and this impacted my life for a long time.
After I came out to my family at 17 years of age their
rejection made me think of myself as a person who wasn’t worth loving. If my
own family rejected me, why would I expect anyone else to love me? Why would I
even need to love myself? That is how I felt back then, but I was not aware.
Years later, the events of my life and good people that I met taught me that I had to stand on my own feet and get stronger. I have
gone through very difficult times in my life and I wish no one to live the
experiences I lived through. This is all very recent. But I'm grateful I have survived and now I'm living my life the best I can.
In the last few months I decided
to take a break from everyone and everything, and focus on finding myself again.
That’s a topic for another post.
So why am I writing this?
Yesterday, when U.S. president Barack Obama announced his
support for same-sex marriage, I felt grateful that I live in a nation where
human rights for LGBT queer people are more respected than in other parts of the
world.
I felt that I made the right decision years ago when I moved here, even
if I’m still undocumented today. The courageous standing of Obama for equality helps
a lot, even if he is doing it for political purposes [or for the millionaire donations he received afterwards].
I'm personally very critical of the Obama administration's foreign policies. But I have to applaud the president's support
for our LGBT communities, because his opinion matters not just for the U.S. but for the rest of the world where millions are watching.
It helps, especially for heterosexual people to understand better why we LGBT people demand equality. It matters because many straight parents are watching and many LGBT kids are listening. I'm sure those children won't have to endure homophobia and violence, as previous generations.
To those of you who are still
opposing same-sex marriage because of your personal values and religious
beliefs. It's important that you think about all the bad things in human history that were caused by religions and fanaticism. Please analyze if your church has always been right.
In real life, even religious leaders can be wrong when they promote homophobia. Some of them are actually closeted homosexuals, like the few priests I have met secretly in my life. They would preach against gay marriage and homosexuality, while having same-sex relations in
secret.
Again, I believe strongly that if I had known that loving unions of two people of the same
gender were possible, accepted and even legalized one day in my lifetime, I would probably had a stronger reason to overcome my own homophobia, to love myself better
and to work harder in my relationships. I'm working on this right now.
I still love my family deeply but the bond
between us is broken, and it will take a lot of time and effort to get us close again. I don’t think they will ever accept me
completely, or maybe they will. We don’t communicate much today, except when my mother calls me to tell me that she is praying for me every day so that God would
keep me safe, and in the “right path”. My father passed away years ago, believing I had changed my ways.
Sometimes I feel the need to pack my things and move back to Peru with my aging mother so I can take care of her weak health. Since I will never live hiding my sexuality, perhaps both of us will be very unhappy living together, maybe not.
Don't let this happen to your family.
When I saw the gay couple in
the train, I saw two strong
individuals who are secure about themselves, conscious about their paths in life.
I praise their courage and I suspect those
men were supported by their families all the way. That couple will do the same
with their children, if they decide one day to get married.
That is why is important same-sex marriage. Because we need better parents, because we need better families. Now even if you don’t have a child who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or
transgender please try to understand and respect people in general.
We are social beings raised by our communities as well, like everyone else.
In that context, laws are important. The legalization of gay
marriages does not encourage children to become homosexuals. It encourages
younger LGBT citizens to love themselves better and to find true love out there;
it encourages people to respect each other and to recognize we are all equal in
front of the law regardless of our sexualities. Its good for LGBT parents raising heterosexual children too.
Same-sex families exist, and they ought to be protected. For the older generations of LGBT people who grew up living in fear and rejection, equality marriage was a dream that many thought would not happen in our lifetimes. Those
who did otherwise are already married, in many cases and even raising children.
Today, I’m thinking of those LGBT children growing up knowing
that their country won’t force them to seat in the back of the bus, nor treat
them as second class people. They are growing up knowing that their right of
happiness will be soon protected by the laws of this nation. I'm not saying that all LGBT people are good people, but we are as humans as you are.
So we can't deny that with happier families, there will be better citizens, and societies thrive.
With loving parents, there will be stronger children and more solid families
and stable communities. All of that is
great for family values, and at the end same-sex marriage benefits everyone regardless of our sexuality.
The other day I spoke to my mother, I asked if she had heard about president Obama's support for gay marriage. She said yes, and then she changed the subject and we kept talking for a few. In the past, she used to hang up the phone whenever I mentioned anything gay. Things can change, slowly for some.
How fast can you change things for you and your community? How can that change be positive for you and your community? It all depends on you and those around you. Equality marriage truly benefits everyone, but especially family values.
